7/26/2023 6:34:06 PM

Gas it up!

7/26/2023 6:38:53 PM

GN, Ill Mitch

7/27/2023 7:22:09 AM

GNSP

[Edited on July 27, 2023 at 10:06 AM. Reason : /]

7/27/2023 10:06:29 AM

GN, asshole

7/27/2023 11:15:02 AM

He started to go into turtle hibernation

7/27/2023 6:57:16 PM

Glitch McDonald

7/27/2023 6:57:51 PM

7/28/2023 9:32:36 AM

Really need upper age limits for government. McConnell, Feinstein, Pelosi, Reed, Biden, Trump....they're all too old.

7/28/2023 11:31:49 AM

Check out the birth decade of 4 of the last 5 presidents: https://www.loriferber.com/research/presidential-facts-statistics/presidential-birthdates.html

It just got stuck in the '40s

7/28/2023 11:38:02 AM

edibles started hittin

7/28/2023 9:58:14 PM

I wonder if that was a seizure

7/28/2023 10:56:39 PM

I’ve honestly never seen anything like that before. It was very jarring to witness, like McConnell should have been rushed to a hospital. Makes me think he’s been doing this for a while.

7/28/2023 11:02:41 PM

He's the devil incarnate.

He *should* have just fucking died and ended his reign of religion-fueled terror on the masses.

7/29/2023 12:33:14 AM

He kind of did it again.

8/30/2023 7:13:24 PM

Kind of?

8/30/2023 7:30:31 PM

Jimmy Carter will outlast Bitch Glitch McConnell

8/31/2023 12:54:54 PM

8/31/2023 1:16:42 PM

God DANG we need some term limits up in here

8/31/2023 2:06:54 PM

So is this guy dead or what?

7/6/2026 10:34:32 PM

Functionally.

7/6/2026 10:39:24 PM

Almost made this thread earlier today...glad i didn't

7/6/2026 10:55:56 PM

^you can just wait until he's been dead for 10 years to make the thread

7/6/2026 11:07:16 PM

7/6/2026 11:13:18 PM

This story is pretty wild, but totally expected

7/7/2026 11:13:42 AM

TURTLE TURTLE

7/7/2026 4:59:19 PM

gn...sp

7/7/2026 6:07:07 PM

Rigor tortoise

7/7/2026 7:15:50 PM

they gonna Weekend at Bernie's this dude or what?

7/7/2026 9:02:23 PM

If they say he's dead NOW, or otherwise unable to serve as senator, then they would need to have a special election. A special election means that someone like Thomas Massie could run as an independent and replace old Turtle neck.

But if they keep the Turtle as a vegetable until November, then the normal election rules are in play and their primary Republican replaces McConnell (Ed Gallrein)

7/7/2026 9:11:38 PM

remember this was the guy who literally halted justice appointments?

now he's doing the same thing as a vegetable

i'm sure he's getting the very best health care

7/8/2026 10:34:06 AM

I just got off the phone with McConnell. We spoke for nearly 20 minutes about turtles. I was surprised to find out he's a huge Cam Newton fan. Anyways, he's still alive and well.

7/8/2026 10:51:06 AM

Like many, many, many things that are going on, this is not normal.

7/8/2026 12:17:55 PM

BIDEN DID IT FIRST!

LOLZ!

7/8/2026 1:09:31 PM